Afraid

So pissed ...
I've been suffering this pain randomly . When i was a novice at it , i remembered crying my Mum's arms . Now i'm at amaetur , im trying my best to keep my cool , save my breath and take the easy way out . So much of these talkings , nothing's gna work .

I can use the word 'Afraid' to describe myself . Yes , im afraid . Not afraid of anything , but to lose friends like you . Maybe whatever i've done , you think i'm trying to take the easy way out and pretend not to care . I've nothing to my name , C H E R Y L . What am I ? I don't know either . I've nothing to my name . Just my life . So whatever you've said i can choose to bother and fight with you till the end . But i choose not to . What you need in me , is what i have . What I have is not kept , but all surfaced and some even thrown indirectly to you . If you get it , then good . But if you don't , then you're on the losing end . Cause you dont know that these words were meant for you , you dont know that , this is how i feel for you as a friend .

In the past , I could stay up all night to cry & realease pain on the other hand . But now , I feel so hurt in the inside . But i can't seem to cry . All bottled up inside of me . Ask me what completes me ... Pain , Agony,Regrets , Words-left-unsaid etc. If i were a dish , i'd be the worst . Sometimes i tell myself that im a happygirl . I've everything i need . But what i lacked is courage ... Courage ~ Where have you been ...

Lately , i've been drowning myself with lots of questions that were never thought , never asked and never said . At times , I wished i could get kill by anything ... A flowerpot , a reckless driver etc. But what i can't let go is the people i love and the people whom love me . Im just afraid .

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