Time and time again . I've been hypnotizing myself ... Not to fall back from where i fall . I can't seem to do so . Up till today i still habour those thoughts of making up with you , yet on the other hand . Im forcing myself not to do so , cause i know i can't tolerate future-pains . I hate behaving like this . Making myself look very fragile , nobody likes it .
Dont ask me how am i or am i fine . Somebody just volunteer to carry this heavy burden of mine ? I could barely breathe .
Each time before bed , i pray hard . Praying that when i wake up the next day ... I'll forget everything that happened . Honestly , i even thought of getting into an accident . Then had a lose of memory . Even for a day , i'll cherish that day . Show the world how happy i am . And how it feels like to be happy again .
Every now and then , when someone crack a joke . I literally force myself to laugh . Like '' Laugh Cheryl , it's a joke . Meant to be laughed at " Then " HA HA HA " Wtfml __
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